tuna grenades

I made this recipe for dinner tonight. Its kind of a stuffed pepper mixed with a tuna casserole. I think I might actually start putting all of my casseroles into peppers or some other stuffable vegetable. Casserole dishes are a pain in the ass to clean, it makes it much easier if you can just eat the vessel its cooked in.

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
2/3 cup chopped celery
2/3 cup chopped onion
2/3 cup chopped carrot
1/4 cup all purpose flour
2 1/2 cup milk
3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
12 oz pouch tuna
salt and pepper to taste
2 cups cooked brown rice
6-7 peppers tops removed and cored

Crusty topping:
1/2 cup panko bread crumbs
2 tbls melted butter
2 tbls shredded cheddar

Start by preheating your over to 375 degrees and if your rice isn't already done get it going. While the rice cooks chop all your vegetables. Once everyone is chopped and in place melt the butter over medium heat in a large saute pan. When the butter has melted and starts to bubble add your celery, onion, and carrot (also known as a mirepoix, wiki that shit). Cook just until the vegetables are tender and the onions are translucent. Now shake your flour evenly over the mixture and slowly fold in trying not to toss any out of the pan. This is what is known as a roux and is the base thickener for most sauces. Stir gently until the flour slightly browns and lets off a nutty smell, about 5 minutes. After that turn the heat down slightly and began slowly adding the milk whisking as you pour. Slowly bring this up to a boil continuing to stir so as to not scorch the milk, then turn the heat down to a simmer and stir for 5 more minutes. Now removed the pan from heat and add your cheese, tuna, and rice stirring as you add.

Let cool slightly and then fill your peppers being sure there are no air pockets inside. Leave a small amount of room on top, just enough to pack the crust on. Mix your melted butter to the panko and cheese then stuff about a tablespoon or two on top of each pepper pressing down to insure there are no air bubbles. (If you have trapped air bubbles your pepper may actually turn into a grenade in the oven when the air gets hot and expands.) Bake the peppers for about 45 minutes or until the pepper begins to crinkle and the bread crumbs on top are golden brown. Let sit for 10 minutes before serving.

winter carrot apple braise

This is another recipe I made for christmas along with the ham. It's a pretty easy side dish and has a lot of the classic winter flavors.

2 or 3 peeled cored and diced apples
1 lb carrots peeled and cut into rounds
1 tbls honey
A squeeze of lemon juice
1 tsp minced ginger
1 tsp minced garlic
1/2 tsp caraway seed
1/2 tsp thyme
Sprinkle nutmeg
1/4 cider
Salt and pepper to taste

Start by heating a saute or saucé over medium heat with a little oil. Sweat your garlic and ginger in the pan to release their flavors. Once they start to lightly brown add your apples and carrots. Toss to mix in garlic and ginger. Add the remaining ingredients except for the cider. Toss to incorporate then add the cider boosting the heat to bring liquid to a light boil. Once boiling quickly drop the heat to a low simmer and put a lid on the pan. Cook until the carrots are softened but still have a slight bite to them. Remove from heat and gently fold, don't stir the apples have softened considerably and will turn to mush if you aren't gentle. Allow to cool for a few minutes then serve.

Notes:

I like the fact that when you add the carrots and apples at the same time the apples get really soft almost to a pre-applesauce consistency. The carrots stay a little more firm and hold the texture of the dish. If you don't like this add the apples after allowing the carrots to saute for a minute.

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pan gravy for ham

This is a simple gravy that is great for any roasted meat and it's super quick.

In a small sauce pan reserve:

1/4 cup drippings or fat

Reserve a few pieces of roasted vegetables from the pan, chop and add to gravy.

Pour the fat out of the roasting pan but try to reserve any other liquid in the pan. Add:

1/4 cup bourbon
3/4 cup stock

Place back in the oven and let it reach a boil. Remove from oven and use a spatula to scrape any little bits still stuck to the pan.

Put your sauce pan on medium heat and add

2 tbls all purpose flour

Whisk the flour to the fat and cook until the flour has browned and has a slightly nutty smell. Add the stock mixture to your sauce pan and return to boil. Turn down the heat and simmer until the right consistency, about 10 minutes.

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the orphan christmas ham

Anyone who was in Philadelphia on Christmas and attended the celebration that I did some cooking for should remember the ham I made... or maybe not there was a lot of whiskey. Anyway this is the recipe I came up with after reviewing several different recipes for hams.

1 7-10 lb fresh ham
4 ribs celery
3 carrots
2 onions
1 bay leaf
1 cup apple cider (if you just happen to have some)
salt and pepper

The ham crust or "glaze":
Dijon mustard
dark brown sugar
bourbon
1 sleeve of gingersnaps pulverized in a food processor

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. Fresh hams come with a very tough skin on the outside that is impossible for the fat to cook through. Most recipes call for you to cut off all of the skin before putting it into the oven. This is a lot of work and a waste of time. Get out your sharpest serrated knife and score the skin all the way around, cut deep enough to be most of the way into the layer of fat but not deep enough to hit meat. Do this in a hatch pattern all around the ham with the lines being about an inch apart.

Now take your vegetables, clean, peel and cut into chunks. Place them in the bottom of your roasting pan with the bay leaf. Take your ham and rest on the vegetables, try to have one of the meat sides on the bottom not a skin side. If you have apple cider just pour it over the ham and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Toss it in the oven and leave it alone! Basting is most times unnecessary, all you are achieving is letting a bunch of heat out and some of the steam that will build up. This causes things to cook unevenly and take forever. The less you open the oven door the better. The one problem you may encounter if your pan is not deep enough is you will have to periodically drain the fat out of the pan, there is going to be a lot cooking off of it. Even if you have a deep pan don't let the fat go past the bottom of the ham. This is the only reason you should be opening that oven door for the first 2 hours.

After that time pull your ham out of the oven. You will notice that all the squares of skin have crisped up and pulled apart. The should easily come off with a pair of tongs. If you notice that some areas have way too much fat on them still feel free to shave a little off with the bread knife, just don't take off too much that layer of fat is what's holding in all of the moisture. I like to throw the ham back in for like 15-20 minutes just to render off a little more fat.

Now take your ham out again, its time to apply the crust. The first layer in the mustard, take a basting brush (or your hand) and apply a good layer of mustard over the whole ham. Layer two is the brown sugar, sprinkle over the whole thing and just gently pat on with your hand. If you have a clean spray bottle put some of the bourbon in there and spritz down the whole ham. I didn't have one so I just put some bourbon in a bowl and used my fingers to flick it at the ham. The last layer is your gingersnap crumbs, just sprinkle all over and gently pat on again. Lightly sprinkle with salt. Don't worry if the crust looks too wet, it will set in the oven. Pop back in the oven for about 30 minutes or until the crust has completely set. Once it is done the hams internal temperature should read about 150 degrees. Take it out of the oven and let rest for at LEAST 30 minutes. This is incredibly important. If you start carving the ham straight out of the oven all of the juices will run out and onto your cutting board leaving you with ham that is the consistency of a shoe.

Notes:

Fresh hams are great for feeding a lot of people and properly prepared will taste far better and be way juicer then any piece of shit precooked preglazed precured store bought ham you can find. If you do this recipe with one of those hams it will come out terrible. Precooked hams are almost as bad as food from the McDonald's drivethru. They are full of sodium and nitrates, their glazes usually have high fructose corn syrup, and the quality of the ingredients are sub par at best. Go to a good butcher (if you can find one) and tell him what you plan on making and for how many people and he can help you select a ham that will work perfectly for you.

If you don't have a food processor to deal with the gingersnaps just put them in a thick ziplock bag and smash them as much as you can with a can.

This may seem like a lot of work but I did it on Christmas and still had plenty of time to drink and enjoy my friends company. Sometimes the best meal is worth the wait (hence the name slowpokefoods).

If you need help carving your ham I am sure the internet has a hundred great websites with videos and instructions and all that jawn.

Soon to come, the pan gravy you can make from all that stuff left in the pan. Also don't throw away that giant pork bone, make homemade pork stock, then you can make the best hot and sour soup in town!

twice baked taters

This was one of my favorite foods growing up. Essentially they are just normal baked potatoes on steroids. It may seem like quite a bit of time and work but the pay off of buttery crusted fluffy creamy potato goodness is totally worth the effort.

Start by heating your oven to 400 degrees and bake:

6 russet potatoes (or any other baking potatoes)

Bake until easily pierced and release by a fork, around 40-60 minutes. Let the potatoes cool enough to be handled and the cut them all in half lengthwise. Scoop out the insides of the potatoes leaving enough to have the potato skins stay intact (about half an inch).

Now mash the potatoes in your preferred method, I personally find my kitchen aid mixer to work the best for me. While mashing mix in:

3 tbls butter
1/4 buttermilk or 1/2 cup sour cream
2 tbls chopped chives
1/4 grated sharp cheddar
Salt and pepper to taste

Mix well and mash potatoes to your desired consistency. Spoon your potato mix back into the skins. Then place a small pad of butter on top on each potato. Sprinkle with paprika and put them back into the oven on a flat baking sheet. Bake until the little peaks on your potatoes and golden brown.

This recipe can easily be done a day in advance. Just get your potatoes topped and ready for the oven then cover the whole baking sheet in plastic wrap and refrigerate. Once you're ready to bake them just heat the oven remove the plastic and pop them in.

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tip of the day (aka... i dont feel like writing a recipe right now)

The tip of the day is actually more of a phrase of the day. Mise en place, french for "putting in place" or by my teacher "everything in its place." This is one of the main principles I picked up from my food prep class. Before you even turn on a pan or oven everything should be out and ready. Once food starts to cook there is no stopping it. The amount of prep depends on the speed of the cooking time. A stir fry needs all ingredients out and ready to go straight in the pan. While with a stew you just need a few things prepared and ready to go since it cooks for hours.

This starts with having all your equipment laid out. If you get half way through a recipe and realize your roommate left that one pan/ingredient you need at someones house you're screwed.

Then obviously lay out your ingredients. I personally don't turn anything on until all ingredients are ready to go, chopped, measured, or whatever needs to be done. Then once you start your recipe you can focus on the cooking process much more, or just have more time to relax. This is just me, if its a slow cooking recipe with time in between steps do it however you want just make sure its all laid out so you know you have everything.

This may seem like a really obvious tip but not being prepared can ruin a whole dish if you don't have the right thing ready at the right time. That's how food ends up burnt, soggy, or over cooked. Or even worse you are missing one key ingredient because you thought you were sure you had it but you don't. It's happened to me a few times and I have seen others make the same mistake. Take the time to lay everything out first and its almost impossible to mess up any recipe.

Notes:
While going over my own writing and realizing how I sound like a lame bob ross talking about food, I remembered breaking my own rule on christmas. I had everything I needed in random spots at the nerd island house. I would just shout "scavenger hunt for (insert ingredient)" and someone would hand it to me. Team work at its finest.

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in communist east germany kraut sauers you!

I love fermenting foods. The cultures are like having a million microscopic pets that need to be fed, kept warm and looked after. Sauerkraut is one of the first fermentations I took on and one of the easiest to do. This is my adaptation of a traditional german kraut. Please read my notes on the end of this fermentation does have a dark dangerous side of bad microbes. With proper precautions these are easy to avoid.

5 pounds cabbage cut into ribbons
aprx. 3 tbls of sea salt
1-2 granny smith apple cored and sliced into 1/4 inch pieces
1/2 tbls whole peppercorn (optional)
1 head of garlic

Equipment:
Large mixing bowl
1 gallon wide mouth container (glass or ceramic)
Cheese cloth
Coffee filter
String or rubber band
A plate or some sort of lid to hold the kraut under the brine

Start by cutting your cabbage into 1/8 to 1/4 inch ribbons (depending on how crunchy you like your kraut) and place in a large mixing bowl. Once you get a good layer of cabbage in the bowl sprinkle some salt and toss. Repeat until all the cabbage is chopped and salted.

Now take your incredibly clean and sterile vessel (glass or ceramic jar) and start packing the cabbage in 2 inch layers. Punch down tight, air is the enemy of proper fermentation. Between the layers throw in some apple slices, a few peeled garlic cloves and some peppercorns. Repeat the layering until everything is in the jar and punch down tight!

Find something about the width of your jar and put it on the cabbage, this keeps the cabbage under the brine that is soon to form. If your cover isn't heavy enough place either a mason jar or ziplock bag full of brine on top of the cover. On top of your jar place first the coffee filter (or paper towel if the filter doesn't fit). Then a few layers of cheese cloth on top. Secure both layers with a tight string or rubber bands. This keeps out dust and bugs but still allows air and your good bacteria in and out. Without this breathing you get a rotten jar of cabbage instead of millions of living friends and delicious sauerkraut. Store your ferment in a dark cool place (65-75 degrees is best) the good bacteria hate uv rays, also it should get decent airflow. Let sit over night, by the magic of osmosis your cabbage should be under a good layer of brine. The salt pulls all of the water from the cabbage preserving in and making a home for the bacteria to do their work. If the brine is not covering the cabbage yet add water and salt at a 1cup to 1 tbls ratio until submerged by at least a half inch.

Let your kraut sit in this dark space for about two weeks. Everyday check your new pet. Push down a little on your cover everyday. Once the bacteria (lacto bacilli) get to work they start burping carbon dioxide gas which leaves air pockets in the kraut. Remember air pockets are bad. Little bubbles here and there are a good sign of a healthy culture. They should appear around the second or third day. If a white scum forms on top of the brine don't be scared that's just your bacterial friends colonizing. Just do your best to skim it of then rinse your weight and lid. (If black, brown or green mold forms discard your ferment a try again, you probably didn't use enough salt)

After your ferment starts to bubble start smelling and tasting the cabbage every day. It should smell like cabbage in vinegar, just slightly at first and more everyday. If it smells right give it a taste everyday. Notice the speed at which it is souring, aim for about 2 weeks. If it starts tasting too close to sauerkraut you had before too fast move it to a cooler location. Once you get close to the flavor you want put a full cover on it and move it to the fridge. It will continue to ferment but at a much slower rate. This will keep for weeks if kept refrigerated and closed.

Notes:

Most traditional pickling techniques (this is another form of pickling) use grape leaves to hold crispness in the vegetable. This is do to the high amount of tannins in the leaves. The skin of the apples contains some on these same tannins so this keeps your kraut crunchy.

I refer to brine a lot here, brine is a mixture of water, salt and seasonings used to preserve or tenderize meat or vegetables.

Now for the scary parts of fermentation. You are messing with food kept at room temperature for a long period of time! There are serious consequences to not paying attention. Do not attempt to make ferments of foods you are not familiar with the taste and smell of. These plus sight are your defences against bad bacteria moving in. If your sauerkraut doesn't smell like sauerkraut don't eat it. The brine should be cloudy and whitish scum will occur, but mold colonies are hairy, sit on top of the surface or are a different color than the brine. If it smells right and doesn't have mold taste it. No matter what it will either taste like cabbage or sauerkraut. If it tastes bad or funky discard and don't worry, I have had bad kraut and not gotten sick. An adult human with a functioning immune system can deal with one taste of bad food, most times you just get gassy. In the very rare chance you develop fever or nausea go to your doctor. If you just take care of your culture the chances of getting sick are about the same as getting sick from your dog (unlikely).

Now for the good news. The bacteria in your properly fermented foods is already in your body, and yogurt, and kim chi, and pickles. Its lacto bacilli and it pretty much does the same thing inside your body as it does outside. It breaks down food making nutrients readily available for your body to take. It lives everywhere and is a long time friend of humans. People used this microbe to preserve food since the founding of agriculture. Ferments of the bracea family (broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower...) have been shown to have especially high concentrations of nutrients and anti oxidants made available by the bacteria.

The best part is if you successfully make sauerkraut once all you have to do it reserve and refrigerate some of the brine from your good batch and add it to your next. This colonizes your new batch with that right bacteria. The best thing about bacteria is its very territorial once it takes foot hold in an evironment it keeps out all other invading bacteria. One good batch of kraut guaranties future good batches. Just don't let your reserve brine sit for too long or else your little pets die and you start from stage one. (By the way, kraut spiked with reserve brine will ferment much faster so don't let that throw you off).

Please feel free to email me on any of my recipes but I especially like questions on fermentation.

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